The Adoption Advantage!
If I Need Help has asked our friends who have adult children with special needs to share with us “3 things I wish I knew when my child was first diagnosed that I know now” Todays contribution is from Dr. Lynette Louise AKA The Brain Broad. Lynette talks about her four adopted special needs sons! I Need Help makes wearable iD and offers a free Caregiver controlled special needs registry for our loved ones who may wander or need assistance in a critical moment.
The minute I met each of my four soon to be adopted special needs sons
I knew they were different. A unique bag of behaviors and perseverations. I loved them as is and hoped to teach them to be more. Each of them had extreme areas of discomfort and varying types of self harming habits. I loved them as is and hoped to help them become comfortable. If I had any illusions about them it was that others could love this turbulent group of barely verbal boys like I did. I married several times trying to find someone who was as committed and energized by helping as I was. Finally I stopped looking for men and started growing some.
As it turned out
My sons had the possibility of being fantastic (mostly) self earning tax payers. But teaching them how was my job. No school or program was going to do that for me.
I fell in love with them as they were rather than as I thought they were going to be.
- For me the diagnosis of autism (and more) was not the devastating challenge it can be for parents because they were always challenged so I fell in love with them as they were rather than as I thought they were going to be.
- For me the hard part was coming to understand that others didn’t fall in love in the same way.
- That led us to push away from society and embrace teaching each other.
- This worked out for us but it is a dangerous path for those who do not find the right solutions. The adoption advantage could just as easily have become the adoption disadvantage.
Hopefully with such high numbers of ASD individuals, by speaking out and sharing their journey we as a society can learn to enjoy the difference rather than try to expunge it.
Dr. Lynette Louise
aka The Brain Broad!